It's so HARD to find a SOFT bed

It's so HARD to find a SOFT bed these days! - or a fairly soft bed, or a medium soft bed, or a slightly soft bed or anything even remotely approaching what could be described as a soft bed...)o: - Well that's what I've found anyway.

 

It used not to be difficult to find a soft bed. I had a pretty soft bed when I was a girl. And when, in my twenties, I went to stay at my cousin's for a week or two, I slept on a divinely soft bed. I floated on clouds...(o: - That was a feather bed.

 

But somewhere along the years, the belief that a bed 'should' be hard began to be taken up. We were told that firm, i.e. hard as a rock, beds were good for our backs. (Not my back, that's for sure.) These beds of uncomfort were sometimes referred to as 'orthopaedic' beds and were often 'endorsed by' medics well-rewarded for these cryptic endorsements.

 

For a brief period there was a resurgence of somewhat softer beds, among them latex foam mattresses and water beds. And divan beds could be bought with spring bases. - We Softies could rest more easily for a while. - But then it became the thing to have drawers under the mattress. - Goodbye, sprung bases! - And people found that water beds were not the panacea they had been led to believe. - And I harbour the ghost of a suspicion that the EU couldn't bear the thought of anyone sleeping comfortably in their beds and so brought out regulations that militated against softness in beds. - Maybe it was something to do with fire safety...(o: - Maybe we shouldn't be comfy in bed in case there's a fire and we just can't bear to flee to safety 'cos our beds are so lovely and comfy...(o:

 

These days, lying in their teeth, salespeople and their marketing brochures will extol the 'virtues' of memory foam beds. They will claim that memory foam beds are soft. Even as they speak and even as you read the brochures, the noses of the sales and marketing staff are, like Pinocchio's nose, growing because they are telling porkies. Any day now we will hear of a salesman whose nose has grown so large that the birds of the air are flying to nest in its branches...

 

Believe me; if you want a bed that is hard, a bed that is firm, a bed that resembles cast-iron, then a memory foam bed will be just perfect for you. - But if you want a soft bed, well, they don't make 'em any more...